not super spiritual

Just being real tonight. We're not super spiritual in our house. I mean, one of my goals lately has been to pray with each of my kiddos once a week. ONCE A WEEK. It's not a lot, I know. Many of my friends are doing this with their kids every night. I love this and I would love to do more one day, but we're not there yet. Once a week times 3 kids is 3 nights a week. It's not a whole lot. But I'm human. And every time I've tried praying with all 3 of them every night, I get burnt out and stressed out and give up after about 3 days. So I figured maybe I needed to start smaller.

But let me tell you, what I have learned is that every time I set these goals, no matter how big or small, if it has to do with honoring God in some way, so many things will get in the way. The enemy does not want me bringing my kids to the foot of the cross AT ALL.

So without fail, my good intentions meet up with the reality of my laziness. If it's not laziness, the distraction is very likely busy-ness. If I happen to push through those, I will then very likely square off against my feelings towards a particular child. I am amazed at how many things can keep me from wanting to pray with them. Tonight they were particularly rowdy and trying my patience and I just did not even like them at bedtime. It is so tempting to say, "no, not tonight." Not only does my "want to" disappear, but my WANT to want to is just flat out broke.

But I will also tell you that every time I lean on the Lord and ask him for help, every time I ask him to fix my "want to," he comes through. He gives me JUST ENOUGH to muster up JUST ENOUGH to push open their door, and kneel by their bed, and ask them, "what can we thank God for tonight?" And, "what can we ask God for tonight?"

And every time I do, or should I say, every time HE DOES, I am blessed. And tonight was no exception. I got to see another glimpse of my daughter's heart. And she asked for prayer for me. Not for any of her own needs, but for me. Um. Yes please. Lord knows your momma needs it