Spiritual excema?

Last night was the third night during this summer travel season that I have slept in close proximity to our 6 year old son.  Its also the third time this summer that I have woken up saying it will be the last time.  That child doesn’t sleep.  All night long he is scratching, sniffing, snotting, sneezing, tossing, turning, and snoring.  It really is no wonder he is such a booger during the day.  I had been wondering for the last few months what had gotten into him.  Our generally happy third born otter has lately turned into a whiny, rude, mean, tantrum-throwing lion that is no fun to be around after about 3:00 pm.  Well, now I know why.  Or at least I suspect why.  His ugly behavior during the day probably has something to do with his lack of sleep at night.  So while I am exhausted this morning, I am thankful for the insight with which I can now approach and respond to my little friend. 

 

BUT…… none of this insight will excuse his behavior.  It will certainly help me understand it, but it will not excuse him from it.  Screaming at the top of his lungs in the general direction of the woman who gave him birth, “I wish you weren’t my mommy!!!!!”  Um.  I’m sorry.  But that is SIN.  Pushing his older brother or tearing up his sister’s things, or disobeying his dad when he is asked to go brush his teeth is sin.  It is sin whether he slept well or not.  His lack of sleep does not excuse his meanness any more than female hormones excuse his sister’s moody rudeness.  And my while my understanding of his behavior can certainly help me in the area of patience and compassion, it doesn’t change the fact that I still have to discipline him when he makes poor choices.  If he throws his toys, they will be removed from the room.  If he hits his siblings, he will be removed from the room.   If he can’t get control of his little Tasmanian devil self, he will receive a spankin’, or a nap, or quite possibly both. 

 

Such is the human condition.  We all have tendencies towards certain sins for certain reasons.  For our youngest, his tendency is toward crankiness right now.  The reasons include excema, general allergies, testosterone, and not getting the right color popsicle.  For me, the tendency is usually towards anger.  The reasons include the general anxiety, and a need for control.  For some, the tendency may be towards violent behavior, or abuse of those around them, and/or crime.  The reasons may include being abused as a child, post tramautic stress from war, or maybe altered brain chemistry from drugs in utero or in adulthood. 

 

But here’s the thing.  We cannot excuse poor behavior with pathologies.  Sin is sin whether we have a good reason for it or not.  If a friend of mine comes into our home for a visit and my son kicks her shin on the way to his room in the midst of a tantrum, I would not say to my friend, “Well, he suffers from excema so you’ll just have to excuse him.” No! No! No!  I would discipline my son, including having him make an apology to my friend, and then probably make him take a nap.  I will discipline him because I love him.  And also because I love him, the first chance I get, I will be making a doctor’s appointment to find out what he’s allergic to and get him a more effective excema cream in hopes that we can get him a better night’s sleep.    

 

Unfortunately, in our society, I think we are looking for excuses more than we are seeking out healing.  We want to know the reasons why we do what we do.  But then for some reason, once we get a diagnosis, we are satisfied to just live miserably in it.  Once we find out that our insecurities are partly due to the ugly words we heard that one day in middle school, we are ready to dismiss 30 years’ worth of poor choices.  But Jesus came to bring us more than just understanding.  He came to bring healing and rest.  We cannot receive this rest until we are willing to admit that the problem of sin is deeper than our itchy skin.