Outfield Errors

in honor of my husband and his love of baseball, and tonight's Game 6 of the 2014 World Series, today's post will be about baseball.

except; not really.  it's really about marriage.  but with a baseball analogy.  and for those of you who are visual learners like myself, hopefully this post will be helpful and encouraging. 

you see, like many other "young" couples, (or maybe not so young), my husband and I have struggled to find a good balance in our marriage as far as leadership and submission is concerned.  good models of this in marriage are few and far between these days.  mostly what we see is couples with power struggles.  wives who are either dominant or door mats.  husbands who are either controlling or cowering.  and we want something better.  we want to look more like the pictures we see in Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord."
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church...."

so how do we put wheels on this machine of marriage and work it out on a practical level?

well, I wish I could take credit for it, but I heard an analogy once that has allowed me to function more appropriately as a submissive and also confident wife in our home.  someone once told me that marriage is like playing outfield.  the husband is the centerfielder and the wife is the right fielder.  their positions are similar, but with slightly different responsibilities.  there is an unspoken rule in baseball that the centerfielder always has the "right of way." the centerfielder is responsible for any ball that comes in between the two players.   ideally, when the ball is in between, the centerfielder will call for the ball and then the other player will back off and give him the right of way to get to it, and then back him up.  and when the two players understand their roles, most of the time this works and the ball doesn't get dropped.

unfortunately, this doesn't always happen as it should.  errors do happen and as we have seen many times on the espn highlight reels, ugly collisions.  and other times, miscommunications occur and the ball gets dropped completely.

here are some scenarios where collisions and dropped balls occur:
1) aggressive and prideful right fielder - a control freak of a player who wants to take on more than their assigned role.  this will result in a dangerous collision every time
2) passive center fielder - a center fielder who is not willing to take full responsibility results in balls
getting dropped, and blame getting thrown around
3) aggressive and prideful centerfielders who go beyond their space - they go well beyond their and put out an unnecessary amount of effort to take control of situations that could easily be handled by the other player.  results in the right fielder's bitterness and the centerfielder's weariness.
4) two players who have complete disregard for their roles and are playing like a one man defense
5)  neither player understands their role and they are both looking at each other and at the ball wondering who is going to catch it.  in that case, the answer is usually NOBODY.
6) just plain errors - you may have two people playing their roles exactly the way they were designed, and yet the ball still gets dropped.  because we're HUMAN!!! my husband is going to make mistakes and so am i.  and that's why God designed for us to work as a team. 

when God created male and female, he created them uniquely and differently, with different roles, but to work together. when he gave the responsibilities of leadership to adam and submission to eve, he was not bestowing different levels of value or importance, any more than a baseball manager is bestowing greater or lesser value to his players when he assigns them to right or center field.  playing right field doesn't make you any less of a ballplayer.  you may in fact be a much better hitter and/or fielder than the center fielder. (or maybe not)  but playing right field simply means submission for the sake of the team's success.  playing centerfield simply means taking responsibility for the sake of the team's success.

and i don't know about you, but most days, i would much rather provide back up than take responsibility.  so i'm good with playing right field.   especially when i get to play next to this really cute guy, who just happens to be a very good baseball player :) 

bridezilla

Photo Credit: Getty from Huffington Post

 most of us are familiar with the term bridezilla.  i believe there's even a tv series with that title.  its not exactly a nice name, as my mother would say.  in fact, there are a lot of really not-nice terms associated with bridezilla, most of which i care not to mention here.  but some of the milder adjectives would include moody, bossy, mean, selfish, picky, impatient, etc, etc, etc. 

and not every bride deserves this label, but many come by it honestly.  you may have seen or read news stories about the "running of the brides," an event where bridezillas are basically given free reign over a dress boutique to find that perfect dress. some of these women even form teams and strategies with their bridesmaids and other female relatives to dominate the day and make sure to secure their precious cargo.  it is basically a full-contact sport in my opinion, except without helmets and pads.  (well, at least without football pads.)  but even those who don't participate in this madhouse of an event can become bridezillas in their own right.    i have seen many brides completely ignore their groom-to-be, their family, their bridesmaids, and everyone around them in an effort to secure what they deem to be "the perfect wedding."

i mean, planning a wedding is stressful, no doubt.  and somehow it has a way of making one focus so much on self that they forget what the whole day is about.  the wedding becomes an end, instead of a beginning.  its about the bride, instead of about the couple.  it becomes entertainment, instead of covenant. 

and speaking of entertainment, its actually quite entertaining to google the word "bridezilla" and scroll through the images.  some are just down right awful.  but not once does the word beautiful come to mind. 

and isn't that what a bride is intended to be? beautiful? i don't know how many times i've heard the statement, "there's nothing more beautiful than a bride on her wedding day." well, that may be true, but the days leading up to the wedding are often a different story. 

i think the same just might be true of the bride of Christ.  sometimes when i think of the church, and of myself in particular as a part of the body of Christ, the term beautiful is not really what comes to mind.  bridezilla is more like it.  i think sometimes we make things about us instead of about Christ.  sometimes we make things about what we want more than about what Jesus wants.  we are selfish, mean, picky, impatient, etc, etc, etc.  we often view our lives as all we have, instead of just the beginning of eternity.  we make it about entertainment, rather than remembering the covenant He has made with us.  we completely forget about our Glorious Groom, in an effort to secure what we think is the perfect life. 

so as individuals, and as the body of Christ, maybe its time to take a good look in the mirror.  and not just in vanity as we try on all our stuff.  maybe we should look at the light that's reflecting from our faces.  is it a selfish scowl, or a peaceful smile?  is it stressed out wrinkles and furled eyebrows, or a joyous beauty?  the latter only comes when we spend time in the presence of the groom.  only when we remember how we are loved.  only when we remember the grace that has secured our future with him for eternity!!!! 

Song of Solomon 4:1 "Behold, you are beautiful, my love..."



AND .... there's more good news:
1) no need to stress because HE has already picked out the dress :)

Revelation 19:7-8 "Let us rejoice and exult and give him the glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure - for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints."

AND
2) even though at times we are unlovable, WE ARE NEVER UNLOVED!!!!!!

Romans 5:8 "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Photo Credit : http://zsazsabellagio.blogspot.com