raw footage. and good news.

seems like everywhere you look these days there is more and more bad news. especially in this season of social media, we have access to a mind-numbing quantity of information - videos, memes, facts, opinions, news, and the raw footage of life.  with #nofilter.  and most of this raw footage leaves us feeling discouraged and hopeless.  i find myself thinking "man this world is so messed up," and "come quickly Lord Jesus" more days that not.  hope is hard to come by. 

so that's what i want to do here. offer hope.  some good news for a change.  and i found this hope in a most unexpected place - my own marriage. 

i wouldn't expect to find hope here, because there's so much raw footage.  not as much for the highlight reels and a ton of scenes that could really use some editing, some redos, or just complete deleting of certain scenes.  in our marriage, it looks like a lot of dirty laundry, and even more dirty dishes.  there is fighting and making up.  (not the knock down drag out kind, but man, if looks could kill.)  a ton of disagreements and a few glorious moments of unity.  taking turns doing routine chores.  taking turns picking youtube music videos after kids go to bed, and enduring every other one with a smile.  appreciation for the other's cooking, burnt or not.  some days of joyfully serving the other in sickness.  some days bitterly.  some days willingly giving a night out to the other.  some days begrudgingly.  lots of good intentions and broken promises.  hurtful truths revealed. hearty laughs shared.  lots of diapers changed, discipline administered, and parenting decisions made.  lots of good teamwork and lots of feeling alone.  lots of encouragement and lots of questioning the others' judgement.  lots of talking adn lots of silence.  lots of wondering and lots of prayer.  lots of successes and lots of mistakes, and lots of uno, skip-bo, and yahtzee. 

sin? yes.  but also lots of forgiveness given and grace received.

C.S. Lewis described it this way: "Love as distinct from 'being in love' is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive from God." 


i've heard some describe marriage as sanctifying.  my husband said it was that in the sense that you are learning to love someone to the point of laying down your life for them, as Christ loved the church.  and in the case of marriage, this is usually a living sacrifice.  daily dying to self to serve another. 

but where is the hope in constantly dying?  i mean, death is a very raw and ugly scene.  and the death of Jesus was no exception.  to find that hope we have to look to His resurrection.   the raw footage of an empty tomb.  now that's good news!!!  because the very power that raised him from the dead gives us the ability to lay down ourselves and find LIFE.  without the resurrection, the cross is without hope,  and my marriage is nothing more than co-dependent survival.  but with Jesus' victory over death, we have LIFE and life abundant! 

i know, i know.  random thoughts that  probably look more like a pile of dirty laundry than sense, but i am just so dog gone thankful.  thankful for dirty dishes and clean ones.  thankful for fun days and routine ones.  thankful for a husband who serves and a God who saves!




Luke 9:23 " And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."

the bucket list of parenting

we're here, fostering this little girl, 3 weeks in to a journey without a clear timeframe for an end. It could end tomorrow or months from now. But it's just long enough to reevaluate what's really important. What must we give this little life in the time she's with us? And for that matter, what things are important for my own kids in the short time I have them? Cuz the truth is, that could end tomorrow as well. We are only promised today. So what is really important?

1) A safe place to sleep and play.
Or at least safe and comforting arms to run into when they fall down or have nightmares.

2) Food. Always with the food. Lots and lots of food. Healthy meals and not so healthy ones. Hearty ones and snacks. Vitamins of the veggies and the sweetness of dessert. They need both.

3) Clothing. Protection from their nakedness and from the elements. And this has to be replaced often based on how well they consume #2.

4) Boundaries. And appropriate discipline to hold those boundaries in place. They need to know they have purpose and that we want them close even though they desire to wander.

5) Affection. Hugs and kisses and tickles and fist bumps and high fives and smiles and kind words and then some more. And then again. A flood of it even. These little sponges can never soak in enough of this, but the more they soak in, the more they can squeeze out onto others.

6) Someone to listen. Someone to listen first and attentively and like the story they have to tell matters.

7) A Hand to Hold. Whether to cross the street or to face a fear, they need to know they're not alone.

And then this also got me thinking. This is what we ALL need, on a physical and spiritual level. All of it. And this is who Jesus is for us. All of it!

Thank you Jesus for the promise of Psalm 23. You are our Perfect Shepherd, and a Good Father!!!

Evidence of God's grace in my life: This morning as I was getting up and ready for the day, I was talking to God about how hard foster care is. After only a week, I am coming face to face with my own selfishness and wanting my life and my comfort level and my family "back to normal." And then I hear some little voices talking in the back bedroom, 30 minutes earlier than I was supposed to be hearing voices. I headed back there frustrated that my coffee and quiet time was not going to happen this morning, and determined to try and put little bodies back in their beds. I see Skylar there, and I asked her what they were doing. She said little bit had gotten up and woke her up and was playing with her stuff. So instead of coming to get me and whining about how she didn't want her in there, she got up and turned on the light in her room and opened her toy box so they could play together.

I was floored. Here I was complaining to God about things, and here was my daughter, joyfully serving, despite her inconvenience.

People, let me tell you. Foster care is hard indeed. But it is also good. It is good for the children who need good homes, and it is good for the children, (and mommas) who already have them. It is not natural at all. And it is sad that it is necessary, but "where the ideal is lacking, grace abounds."

So....... If you've thought about foster care, but are worried about how it will affect your own children, let me encourage you to think harder. It WILL affect your children! And that might just be a good thing!