sometimes, from the other end of our house, i will hear one of the children yell, "mo-om!!!!" i have gotten to where i normally ignore these calls, because the few times i have answered i find myself yelling back, "we don't yell in the house!!!," and then mid-sentence i realize the error of my ways.
of course, there are always times when i recognize the cry of the injured or scared, and at those times i run to my kids to hold them. but the other day as i was ignoring one of these not so scared or hurt pleas, hoping that my son would come into the room where i was to let me know what he needed, it occurred to me that maybe my heavenly Father wants me to come closer to where He is so He can help me too.
you see, i don't ignore my children out of anger or convenience. its just that i cannot help them when they are in another room. and if i yell back at them, i know they won't hear or take in what i have to say anyways. maybe God is the same way with us. there are times when He recognizes our cry of fear or pain and comes running to our rescue. but so often when we pray, we are just shooting our needs at Him from a distance. when we feel like He's not answering, it's not that He's ignoring us, maybe it's just that He wants us to come closer, be still, and listen so that we will hear and understand the answers.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God...."
Psalm 34:11 " Come, O children, listen to me...."
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
christians are like silverware
i think there are 3 kinds of christians in this world. and by christians i don't mean people who believe in God or people who go to church. i mean people who have been saved by Jesus Christ.
the first kind are like plastic ware. this is the kind of Christian that is very social in nature. they come out for swim parties, fellowships, baby showers, and most sunday mornings. they let themselves be used by God, but limit His access to their life to the areas that are seen by others. these kinds of Christians are great for a party, but break under pressure.
the second kind are like fine china. they are willing to serve, but not too often. they don't like getting dirty, they just like getting looked at. they will serve for a special event, but also feel the need to be praised. they keep themselves away from the sin of the world, but don't do much good in the meantime.
then there's the third kind. this is the kind i want to be. this kind is like everyday silverware. it gets used everyday, and doesn't mind getting dirty, because it knows it will be run through the water and fire and cleaned again. there's nothing special about it's looks, but it's durability is priceless. it is not afraid to be used for any task. it is always available because it knows the purpose for which it is made - to SERVE. it may bend, but rarely will it be broken.
now i won't take this analogy too far because then we would be talking about the ramifications of what happens when you turn on the sink disposal without knowing silverware is still in there. and let us be careful not to judge others and start categorizing those around us. but i hope this thought will encourage you as it has me to be more like silverware. i want to be used by God. and i don't want to be picky about how i'm used. i don't want to be afraid to get a little dirty in the process. and i don't want to just stay in the drawer.
the first kind are like plastic ware. this is the kind of Christian that is very social in nature. they come out for swim parties, fellowships, baby showers, and most sunday mornings. they let themselves be used by God, but limit His access to their life to the areas that are seen by others. these kinds of Christians are great for a party, but break under pressure.
the second kind are like fine china. they are willing to serve, but not too often. they don't like getting dirty, they just like getting looked at. they will serve for a special event, but also feel the need to be praised. they keep themselves away from the sin of the world, but don't do much good in the meantime.
then there's the third kind. this is the kind i want to be. this kind is like everyday silverware. it gets used everyday, and doesn't mind getting dirty, because it knows it will be run through the water and fire and cleaned again. there's nothing special about it's looks, but it's durability is priceless. it is not afraid to be used for any task. it is always available because it knows the purpose for which it is made - to SERVE. it may bend, but rarely will it be broken.
now i won't take this analogy too far because then we would be talking about the ramifications of what happens when you turn on the sink disposal without knowing silverware is still in there. and let us be careful not to judge others and start categorizing those around us. but i hope this thought will encourage you as it has me to be more like silverware. i want to be used by God. and i don't want to be picky about how i'm used. i don't want to be afraid to get a little dirty in the process. and i don't want to just stay in the drawer.
Friday, June 8, 2012
for goodness sake
a thought occurred to me a couple weeks ago while doing some bible study. it was this: God's goodness is never for goodness sake, but for His glory. and His hand of comfort is accompanied by His call of commission.
when moses saw God's glory from the burning bush, God then commanded Him to go and deliver His people. (Exodus 3)
when the isrealites were delivered from Egypt and saw God prove His faithfulness to them, He declared, "But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Exodus 9:16)
when joshua led the people across the dried up jordan river, "He did this so that all the people of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God." (Joshua 4:24)
when david defeated Goliath with a small stone, He said, "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is th LORD'S, and he will give all of you into our hands." (1 Samuel 17:47)
when isaiah saw the Lord in all His glory in Isaiah chapter 6, He saw God's holiness and goodness, experienced His comfort, and then responded to His call to "Go and tell this people."
when shadrach, meshach, and abednego were delivered from the fiery furnace, the king declared,
"....... no other god can save in this way." (Daniel 3:29)
when daniel was lifted from the den of the lions, the king proclaimed God's glory, saying, "For he is the living God and he endures forever;" (Daniel 6:26)
when jonah was delivered from the belly of the whale, "the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 'Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.'" (Jonah 3:1-2)
when Gabriel spoke to mary and comforted her with the words, "do not be afraid," he commissioned her with the words, "You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus...." (Luke 1:30-31)
when the angel spoke to joseph and comforted him with the words, "do not be afraid," it was so that joseph could "give him the name Jesus..." (Matthew 1:21)
when the angel appeared to the shepherds, comforting them with the words, "do not be afraid," he gave them, "good news for great joy that will be for all the people." (Luke 2:10)
when Jesus was raised from the dead and reappeared to the disciples, He then came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations...." (Matthew 28: 19)
when paul wrote the the corinthians, he reminded them, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
at this point i am humbled by the perfection and completeness of God's Word and the hours it would take to list every example. the scriptures are full of this type of encounter. the God of the universe reveals himself to us, shows himself to us, proves himself to us, love us, comforts us. but all this is not so we can be comfortable! it is for His glory! when He comes to us, He also commissions us to share this love and comfort with others to the glory of His name.
"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name..." (Psalm 29:2)
when moses saw God's glory from the burning bush, God then commanded Him to go and deliver His people. (Exodus 3)
when the isrealites were delivered from Egypt and saw God prove His faithfulness to them, He declared, "But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Exodus 9:16)
when joshua led the people across the dried up jordan river, "He did this so that all the people of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God." (Joshua 4:24)
when david defeated Goliath with a small stone, He said, "All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is th LORD'S, and he will give all of you into our hands." (1 Samuel 17:47)
when isaiah saw the Lord in all His glory in Isaiah chapter 6, He saw God's holiness and goodness, experienced His comfort, and then responded to His call to "Go and tell this people."
when shadrach, meshach, and abednego were delivered from the fiery furnace, the king declared,
"....... no other god can save in this way." (Daniel 3:29)
when daniel was lifted from the den of the lions, the king proclaimed God's glory, saying, "For he is the living God and he endures forever;" (Daniel 6:26)
when jonah was delivered from the belly of the whale, "the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: 'Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.'" (Jonah 3:1-2)
when Gabriel spoke to mary and comforted her with the words, "do not be afraid," he commissioned her with the words, "You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus...." (Luke 1:30-31)
when the angel spoke to joseph and comforted him with the words, "do not be afraid," it was so that joseph could "give him the name Jesus..." (Matthew 1:21)
when the angel appeared to the shepherds, comforting them with the words, "do not be afraid," he gave them, "good news for great joy that will be for all the people." (Luke 2:10)
when Jesus was raised from the dead and reappeared to the disciples, He then came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations...." (Matthew 28: 19)
when paul wrote the the corinthians, he reminded them, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
at this point i am humbled by the perfection and completeness of God's Word and the hours it would take to list every example. the scriptures are full of this type of encounter. the God of the universe reveals himself to us, shows himself to us, proves himself to us, love us, comforts us. but all this is not so we can be comfortable! it is for His glory! when He comes to us, He also commissions us to share this love and comfort with others to the glory of His name.
"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name..." (Psalm 29:2)
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
counting the stars
this last weekend i had the opportunity to camp out under the stars with my family. we have never all slept in a tent together, so i didn't know how it would turn out, but i think i will cherish that memory forever.
the top of our tent was see-through mesh, so we could see the stars pretty well when all the lights were off. the boys all fell asleep pretty quickly, but my daughter, the night owl, stayed up to talk with me. we laid there looking up at the stars together, just talking about how awesome God is. we talked about how big He must be to have made all those and how wise He is to know all their names. she wanted me to help her count them all. we tried......
she eventually fell asleep, but i just laid there soaking it all in. the breeze, the birds, the crickets, and the occasional coyote's song off in the distance. and the stars..... i think i could look at them forever.
i got to thinking about abraham and the promise that God made to him. i was thinking that those same stars must have been a reminder to him every night of that promise. some nights he must have looked up at them and thought, "good luck with that, God!" and i wonder how often he tried to count them. and then maybe other nights he couldn't stop staring at them. i wonder how often he fell asleep with a tear of joyful humility running down his face.
thank you God for your handiwork, and your promises, shining ever brighter in the darkness.
Genesis 15: 5 "He took him outside and said, 'Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them.' Then he said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.'"
Psalm 8:3-4 "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"
the top of our tent was see-through mesh, so we could see the stars pretty well when all the lights were off. the boys all fell asleep pretty quickly, but my daughter, the night owl, stayed up to talk with me. we laid there looking up at the stars together, just talking about how awesome God is. we talked about how big He must be to have made all those and how wise He is to know all their names. she wanted me to help her count them all. we tried......
she eventually fell asleep, but i just laid there soaking it all in. the breeze, the birds, the crickets, and the occasional coyote's song off in the distance. and the stars..... i think i could look at them forever.
i got to thinking about abraham and the promise that God made to him. i was thinking that those same stars must have been a reminder to him every night of that promise. some nights he must have looked up at them and thought, "good luck with that, God!" and i wonder how often he tried to count them. and then maybe other nights he couldn't stop staring at them. i wonder how often he fell asleep with a tear of joyful humility running down his face.
thank you God for your handiwork, and your promises, shining ever brighter in the darkness.
Genesis 15: 5 "He took him outside and said, 'Look up at the heavens and count the stars - if indeed you can count them.' Then he said to him, 'So shall your offspring be.'"
Psalm 8:3-4 "When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
the beauty of mystery
i absolutely love the way that my husband proposed to me. i will spare you the details, but i know i will never forget that night and the exact words he spoke when he asked me to marry him. and like most women, i love to tell the story over and over again to anyone who will listen. and i love hearing the stories of other people's proposals.
part of what made it so special was that it was a surprise. it was something he had been working on behind the scenes. we had talked about getting married, and i knew he was "the one," but i didn't know when he was going to ask me "officially." besides, he had to get past my dad first.
but i was thinking the other day about how different it would have been if he had dictated to me beforehand each detail of the proposal. i mean, believe me, i had begged him to tell me when and where and how, but his lips were sealed. but what if he had indulged me and told me everything, before it happened? first of all, it would have ruined the surprise! i would not be telling the story for years to come about how awesome he was and how much love and effort he showed in preparing. i would be telling everyone how disappointed i was that he was so unromantic. and secondly, i probably would have ruined it by putting in my two cents about how i thought it should go, and how i'd always dreamed it would be. thankfully, he was a wise suitor and did surprise me, because his plan was so much more perfect and beautiful than anything i could have dreamed up anyways.
maybe this is how it is with God too. He loves to love us. and not just a big dumb jock kind of love, but a passionate, romantic, holy kind of love. and maybe that's why he can't always dictate to us how every detail will work beforehand. part of the beauty of this life is the surprise at how He works things out for our good, and to His glory. He will never lie to us, but sometimes He does withhold information. but the mystery is part of what makes it so beautiful. not only that, but if He told us everything, we would want to add our two cents as to how we think it should go. (we do that anyways.) but what He has planned for us is so much better than we could ever dream for ourselves.
so maybe we should just enjoy the ride, let ourselves be surprised, and then live to tell the story!
part of what made it so special was that it was a surprise. it was something he had been working on behind the scenes. we had talked about getting married, and i knew he was "the one," but i didn't know when he was going to ask me "officially." besides, he had to get past my dad first.
but i was thinking the other day about how different it would have been if he had dictated to me beforehand each detail of the proposal. i mean, believe me, i had begged him to tell me when and where and how, but his lips were sealed. but what if he had indulged me and told me everything, before it happened? first of all, it would have ruined the surprise! i would not be telling the story for years to come about how awesome he was and how much love and effort he showed in preparing. i would be telling everyone how disappointed i was that he was so unromantic. and secondly, i probably would have ruined it by putting in my two cents about how i thought it should go, and how i'd always dreamed it would be. thankfully, he was a wise suitor and did surprise me, because his plan was so much more perfect and beautiful than anything i could have dreamed up anyways.
maybe this is how it is with God too. He loves to love us. and not just a big dumb jock kind of love, but a passionate, romantic, holy kind of love. and maybe that's why he can't always dictate to us how every detail will work beforehand. part of the beauty of this life is the surprise at how He works things out for our good, and to His glory. He will never lie to us, but sometimes He does withhold information. but the mystery is part of what makes it so beautiful. not only that, but if He told us everything, we would want to add our two cents as to how we think it should go. (we do that anyways.) but what He has planned for us is so much better than we could ever dream for ourselves.
so maybe we should just enjoy the ride, let ourselves be surprised, and then live to tell the story!
Thursday, March 15, 2012
random
this is really silly, but oh well. you know those sneaky, wispy little white hairs that pop up from time to time on random places on your body? you know how they sometimes grow unnoticed to be like 6 inches long before they catch your eye? c'mon somebody! well i think that's one of God's many ways of making sure that we laugh at ourselves and don't put too much stock in perfecting our outer looks.
just sayin'.
just sayin'.
Monday, March 5, 2012
sacrifice?
as a former college athlete, i often catch myself daydreaming about the "glory days" of playing soccer in my prime. sometimes at night, i even wake myself up kicking after scoring a goal (or more often hitting the post). the other day, i was remembering some of my teammates and for some reason i was asking myself who i admired most out of all of them. and a very unlikely character came to mind. she wasn't the fastest or the most talented, or the most outspoken, or the most popular, or the funniest. but i think i realized she may have sacrificed the most to play on the team. i never thought about it much then, but looking back on it, i have come to admire her.
her name was halima. i didn't know her very well, and come to think of it, i don't know if anyone did. she was very quiet and reserved, and i didn't make much effort to get to know her since i was comfortable with my friends. i regret that. but what i remember was that almost every practice, to put it very simply, she threw up. every so often she would leave the field and come back a few minutes later and resume practice. she never made a big deal about it, and the only reason i knew was because i think i remember my coach using her as an example one time of dedication. she wasn't a weenie, she just had a very sensitive stomach. so much so that strenous exercise caused her to vomit. often.
my tendency would have been to make that an excuse as to why i couldn't be an athlete. or at the very least why i couldn't run as hard as everyone else. i would have shrunk back every time the queasiness came on. but she didn't. she was probably the hardest worker on our team. she had one pace.... 100%. she never gave anything less. and what's more is that she wasn't even a starter. she put in all that hard work just to have a spot on the bench in hopes of some playing time. there's no way i would've made that sacrifice!
come to think of it, i can't remember too many times in my life when i have truly sacrificed anything! my life has been pretty comfortable for the most part. i was a natural student and athlete. i certainly wasn't the best, but i didn't have to try very hard to be close to the top. i got scholarships and grants that paid for college. my parents and then my husband have taken care of me financially, so i've never really had to worry about basic needs. i've always tithed to my church, but never given til it hurts. i usually do what i want to do with my money, energy, and time and then give to others from what's left over. i will help out if it fits in with my schedule. i'm happy to return favors but rarely initiate them. and i have never run or worked out so hard that i threw up..... not once.
so i've been asking myself what could drive someone to give of themselves that way? halima, if you're out there, feel free to comment and answer this mystery for us. i will take a stab at it though. my guess is either love of the game, or desperation, or both. i am reminded of a couple stories in the Bible where people gave in this manner.
the first is the familiar story of the poor woman in Mark 12:41-44. "Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on.'" she demonstrated her love for God in her offering. she gave when it didn't make sense to give. she was desperate, but knew God was her only hope for provision.
when have i given something i couldn't afford to give? how many times have i given from my excess and then labeled it a sacrifice?
and then i am reminded of the integrity of king david in 1 Samuel 24. a man named araunah was offering to give him a piece of land in order to build an altar to the Lord. "But the king replied to Araunah, 'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.'" (vs. 24) his love for God caused him to go out of his way to pay for the sacrifice, even when it wasn't necessary.
how many times have i given to the LORD my God sacrifices that cost me nothing?
i want to love God and give of myself passionately. i want to experience the desperation of sacrifice so that i can know the joy of His provision. i want to give from poverty and not from excess. i want to love God first and all else last. i want to LIVE this life instead of reserve it. "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:10
her name was halima. i didn't know her very well, and come to think of it, i don't know if anyone did. she was very quiet and reserved, and i didn't make much effort to get to know her since i was comfortable with my friends. i regret that. but what i remember was that almost every practice, to put it very simply, she threw up. every so often she would leave the field and come back a few minutes later and resume practice. she never made a big deal about it, and the only reason i knew was because i think i remember my coach using her as an example one time of dedication. she wasn't a weenie, she just had a very sensitive stomach. so much so that strenous exercise caused her to vomit. often.
my tendency would have been to make that an excuse as to why i couldn't be an athlete. or at the very least why i couldn't run as hard as everyone else. i would have shrunk back every time the queasiness came on. but she didn't. she was probably the hardest worker on our team. she had one pace.... 100%. she never gave anything less. and what's more is that she wasn't even a starter. she put in all that hard work just to have a spot on the bench in hopes of some playing time. there's no way i would've made that sacrifice!
come to think of it, i can't remember too many times in my life when i have truly sacrificed anything! my life has been pretty comfortable for the most part. i was a natural student and athlete. i certainly wasn't the best, but i didn't have to try very hard to be close to the top. i got scholarships and grants that paid for college. my parents and then my husband have taken care of me financially, so i've never really had to worry about basic needs. i've always tithed to my church, but never given til it hurts. i usually do what i want to do with my money, energy, and time and then give to others from what's left over. i will help out if it fits in with my schedule. i'm happy to return favors but rarely initiate them. and i have never run or worked out so hard that i threw up..... not once.
so i've been asking myself what could drive someone to give of themselves that way? halima, if you're out there, feel free to comment and answer this mystery for us. i will take a stab at it though. my guess is either love of the game, or desperation, or both. i am reminded of a couple stories in the Bible where people gave in this manner.
the first is the familiar story of the poor woman in Mark 12:41-44. "Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny. Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything - all she had to live on.'" she demonstrated her love for God in her offering. she gave when it didn't make sense to give. she was desperate, but knew God was her only hope for provision.
when have i given something i couldn't afford to give? how many times have i given from my excess and then labeled it a sacrifice?
and then i am reminded of the integrity of king david in 1 Samuel 24. a man named araunah was offering to give him a piece of land in order to build an altar to the Lord. "But the king replied to Araunah, 'No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.'" (vs. 24) his love for God caused him to go out of his way to pay for the sacrifice, even when it wasn't necessary.
how many times have i given to the LORD my God sacrifices that cost me nothing?
i want to love God and give of myself passionately. i want to experience the desperation of sacrifice so that i can know the joy of His provision. i want to give from poverty and not from excess. i want to love God first and all else last. i want to LIVE this life instead of reserve it. "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:10
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
weeds
here in texas, spring is finally trying to peek around the corner. the other day while I was outside with the kids, i happened to notice our flower bed in front of the house. it was looking pretty sorry. i have only planted flowers once in the six years we’ve lived here. and unfortunately, i’m not enough of a gardener to have kept those alive longer than about 2 months. but when we bought this house, we inherited the most amazing easter lilies you’ve ever seen. they usually bloom 2-3 weeks before easter. they are bright red with a hint of orange, and yellow streaks in the middle. and even with my lack of care, they somehow continue to come back every year. so when we were outside the other day, and i was noticing how bad the flower bed looked, i remembered the easter lilies. i began to wonder why they weren’t starting to grow again. and then i saw the weeds.
i've learned there's different kinds of weeds too. there's weeds that you can just barely pull and they come straight out. and then there's the big momma's. those are the kind that you have to grab as close to the ground as possible and then pull slowly in hopes of getting the root. most of those i had to actually dig a bit to get a good hold on them. and even then they only come out clean if the dirt is wet from a recent rain. if the dirts dry and cracked, good luck trying to get any roots. and my grandmother always warned me that if i didn't get the roots, i was wasting my time cuz they'll come right back.
anyways, i finally got all the dead leaves and weeds cleared out and am looking forward to seeing those beautiful flowers in a few weeks. and its funny how God deals with me sometimes. he wanted me down on the ground getting my hands dirty and wearing out my back pulling those weeds on those particular days because he knew i was about to stumble across a familiar parable in my studies and that it would come to life. in Luke 8 Jesus tells the parable of the sower. i think i most often resemble verse 14. "The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature." i think the ground underneath the weeds is good soil. Jesus has given me the faith and the heart to seek Him. often times, i just don't tend to it. and then before i know it the seed of His Word is no longer growing and producing fruit because there are so many weeds.
in order to grow and be fruitful and productive , i must diligently attend to the garden. and i say diligently because the longer i let the weeds grow, the more difficult they are to remove once they are rooted. worry can worm its way so deep that it is painful to remove. and the riches and pleasures of this world can spring up so fast that we get distracted and God's Word is choked out before we know it. "therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." James 1:5
Sunday, February 12, 2012
seventh well
haven't really had any profound new thoughts lately, so i thought it was time to post another of my older poems just for the heck of it. this one is one of my favorites. it's based on John chapter 4 and the story of the woman at the well. written february 15, 1997
seventh well
outcast alone in burning thirst i come.
five before are gone and dried,
each look in the mirror tells me why
to the sixth to toil, draw temporal taste of love.
calloused feet by midday sun are numb.
a man sits there with strange deep eyes;
my ugly face and shame i try to hide,
with nothing to draw from the well's deep He's come
asking me to quech His thirst.
i timidly step to ask Him why.
knowing my sin from last to first
yet in my simple truth a smile He finds.
i see in His eyes true love submersed.
He sees past my lies, never again to thirst.
i find it interesting that the number 7 in the Bible represents completeness and perfection. this woman that was at the well had had 5 husbands before and was now living with a man that was not her husband. so she had been with at least 6 lovers and then Jesus came along. she, like many of us, had been digging wells all her life to try to tap into some kind of love that would satisfy her thirst. but they all came up dry. and then there was Jesus. He was her seventh well. He came offering her a drink that would satisfy her eternally. He was offering His love. His salvation. His Spirit. His truth. and He offers the same to us unconditionally. He is a well of Living Water that will never run dry and will satisfy us perfectly and completely. so let's throw down our shovels over the drought-stricken land we've been digging in for so long and go tap into the well of His infinitely deep love.
John 7:38 "Whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
thank you Jesus for being my Seventh Well.
seventh well
outcast alone in burning thirst i come.
five before are gone and dried,
each look in the mirror tells me why
to the sixth to toil, draw temporal taste of love.
calloused feet by midday sun are numb.
a man sits there with strange deep eyes;
my ugly face and shame i try to hide,
with nothing to draw from the well's deep He's come
asking me to quech His thirst.
i timidly step to ask Him why.
knowing my sin from last to first
yet in my simple truth a smile He finds.
i see in His eyes true love submersed.
He sees past my lies, never again to thirst.
i find it interesting that the number 7 in the Bible represents completeness and perfection. this woman that was at the well had had 5 husbands before and was now living with a man that was not her husband. so she had been with at least 6 lovers and then Jesus came along. she, like many of us, had been digging wells all her life to try to tap into some kind of love that would satisfy her thirst. but they all came up dry. and then there was Jesus. He was her seventh well. He came offering her a drink that would satisfy her eternally. He was offering His love. His salvation. His Spirit. His truth. and He offers the same to us unconditionally. He is a well of Living Water that will never run dry and will satisfy us perfectly and completely. so let's throw down our shovels over the drought-stricken land we've been digging in for so long and go tap into the well of His infinitely deep love.
John 7:38 "Whoever believes in me as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."
thank you Jesus for being my Seventh Well.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
what they don't tell you
what they don't tell you at your baby shower is that you will be sitting outside one afternoon watching your children playing, and your 5 year old daughter will suddenly grab her stomach and inform you that her "tummy hurts." they don't tell you that at that point, you have exactly 3 minutes and 29 seconds to find a pony tail holder to put her hair up before she spews all over the driveway. they don't tell you that the boys playing in the driveway will then scatter to the outermost parts of the earth and leave you to clean up the mess, along with the mess they've made with all the balls, bikes, scooters, nerf guns, etc. they don't tell you that cleaning up this mess will have to wait, as you first have to change the five year olds' clothes, rinse off her shoes, wipe the vomit out of her wispy hair and off her hands and face. you will then have to find her a new tshirt, and blanket that she will immediately puke on. those will need to go in the washer and she will need a new tshirt, and blanket. they don't tell you that she will continue throwing up at regular 5 minute intervals for the next 6 hours. they also don't tell you that she is not old enough to make it to the toilet and that you will have to pay attention to her to make sure you have the bucket ready at the right times in order to avoid buying a new chair and ottoman and a new room full of carpet.
they also don't tell you that somehow, in these 5 minute intervals between hurls you will be taking care of the mess, as well as your other two children, all the while assuring your daughter that its not her fault, that she's not going to die, that you love her and that you're so sorry she's sick. here's what you'll be doing:
interval 1: cleaning up daughter. sending a quick text message to your husband to inform him of the situation.
interval 2: putting daughter's clothes and towels and blanket in the washer and starting load #1
interval 3: taking a waterhose to the driveway to scatter the chunks of curdled milk into the grass
interval 4: informing 6 year old son that he is responsible for entertaining 2 year old son in the backyard until further notice
interval 5: informing 6 year old's friends that it is time for them to go home because its not fair if they play basketball in your driveway while your son watches through the holes in the gate longingly, all the while becoming more and more bitter at his sick sister, and his too-little-to-roam-free little brother.
interval 6: taking resolve cleaner to the living room carpet to avoid the impending doom of smell that is sure to get worse with every second the residue sinks into the fibers of the floor. at this point you will have the sense to place a towel underneath your daughter to cover the chair, as well as a towel on the floor in front of her to cover the carpet.
interval 7: conversation with 6 year old and 2 year old to remind them that you are not mad at them and that you know its not fair, but that mommy needs them to play in the backyard for a little while until she can think straight.
interval 8: stroking daughter's hair, getting her a cool rag and some 7up. she will then request some "crunchy" ice to chew on. your heart will then break as you look into her pale little face. you will then remind yourself that it's not her fault.
interval 9: move load of laundry 1 from washer to dryer. move load of laundry 2 from garage floor to washer
interval 10: taking a breather, realizing that you will have to inform your husband when he arrives home in 20 minutes that he is on his own for dinner. hoping that he will understand.
interval 11: retrieving other children from the backyard and finding them some cars to play with in the living room while they wait for their daddy to come home and save them
interval 12: answering questions from 6 year old boy about why girls cry when they throw up. your answer will sound something like, "because girls cry for lots of reasons." you will then begin to cry yourself.
interval 13: wait, no, vomit 13: as your daughter is leaning over the bucket, your husband will walk in the door. somewhere in the back of your mind you are grateful that he is walking in right as she is puking so that he will understand the seriousness of this situation and that he will feel sorry for you. and for her. and for the boys. sorry enough to not complain about having to fix dinner or fend for himself for the next 5 hours.
interval 14: grabbing a piece of cheese for yourself, as you are starving
interval 15: making a fold over peanut butter and honey sandwich, remembering not to eat it in front of your daughter.
interval 16: remember to thank Jesus for helping you until help could come. remember to ask him to help your daughter feel better. remember to ask him for continued sanity as you know that more than likely, she's not the only one who will get sick.
ok, so at least the intervals are getting longer now, but less predictable. so you will now not be able to rely simply on the clock to tell you when she will need the bucket. you will now need to listen for her to begin shifting in the chair. she hates throwing up so she will always shake her head "no" when you offer her the bucket. but you can know that when she takes two deep breaths and begins to wimper slightly that its coming, so be ready! and now that you've somewhat gotten down a routine to try and keep the vomit off the floor and off the blankets, your attention will now turn to your marriage.
because the whole time you are taking care of your sick child, you are mad at all the people who didn't tell you at your wedding shower that you would be wondering if your husband will still love you when he walks in the door and finds you this way. will he still think you're beautiful when you haven't washed your hair in 3 days because you've been sick and taking care of sick kids? will he still hug you when you smell like stomach acid and sour milk? will he still cherish you when you look like you just rolled out of bed? when he finds you in your pjs instead of a nightgown, and he has to fend for himself with cold cereal instead of coming home to the steam rising from his plate on the table, will he still say, "you're the one!"
what they don't tell you is...... you better pick a good mate, whose beauty is more than their clothes or how they smell or how their hair looks. and if you've already picked one, pray for them. because they didn't expect it to be like this either.
they also don't tell you that somehow, in these 5 minute intervals between hurls you will be taking care of the mess, as well as your other two children, all the while assuring your daughter that its not her fault, that she's not going to die, that you love her and that you're so sorry she's sick. here's what you'll be doing:
interval 1: cleaning up daughter. sending a quick text message to your husband to inform him of the situation.
interval 2: putting daughter's clothes and towels and blanket in the washer and starting load #1
interval 3: taking a waterhose to the driveway to scatter the chunks of curdled milk into the grass
interval 4: informing 6 year old son that he is responsible for entertaining 2 year old son in the backyard until further notice
interval 5: informing 6 year old's friends that it is time for them to go home because its not fair if they play basketball in your driveway while your son watches through the holes in the gate longingly, all the while becoming more and more bitter at his sick sister, and his too-little-to-roam-free little brother.
interval 6: taking resolve cleaner to the living room carpet to avoid the impending doom of smell that is sure to get worse with every second the residue sinks into the fibers of the floor. at this point you will have the sense to place a towel underneath your daughter to cover the chair, as well as a towel on the floor in front of her to cover the carpet.
interval 7: conversation with 6 year old and 2 year old to remind them that you are not mad at them and that you know its not fair, but that mommy needs them to play in the backyard for a little while until she can think straight.
interval 8: stroking daughter's hair, getting her a cool rag and some 7up. she will then request some "crunchy" ice to chew on. your heart will then break as you look into her pale little face. you will then remind yourself that it's not her fault.
interval 9: move load of laundry 1 from washer to dryer. move load of laundry 2 from garage floor to washer
interval 10: taking a breather, realizing that you will have to inform your husband when he arrives home in 20 minutes that he is on his own for dinner. hoping that he will understand.
interval 11: retrieving other children from the backyard and finding them some cars to play with in the living room while they wait for their daddy to come home and save them
interval 12: answering questions from 6 year old boy about why girls cry when they throw up. your answer will sound something like, "because girls cry for lots of reasons." you will then begin to cry yourself.
interval 13: wait, no, vomit 13: as your daughter is leaning over the bucket, your husband will walk in the door. somewhere in the back of your mind you are grateful that he is walking in right as she is puking so that he will understand the seriousness of this situation and that he will feel sorry for you. and for her. and for the boys. sorry enough to not complain about having to fix dinner or fend for himself for the next 5 hours.
interval 14: grabbing a piece of cheese for yourself, as you are starving
interval 15: making a fold over peanut butter and honey sandwich, remembering not to eat it in front of your daughter.
interval 16: remember to thank Jesus for helping you until help could come. remember to ask him to help your daughter feel better. remember to ask him for continued sanity as you know that more than likely, she's not the only one who will get sick.
ok, so at least the intervals are getting longer now, but less predictable. so you will now not be able to rely simply on the clock to tell you when she will need the bucket. you will now need to listen for her to begin shifting in the chair. she hates throwing up so she will always shake her head "no" when you offer her the bucket. but you can know that when she takes two deep breaths and begins to wimper slightly that its coming, so be ready! and now that you've somewhat gotten down a routine to try and keep the vomit off the floor and off the blankets, your attention will now turn to your marriage.
because the whole time you are taking care of your sick child, you are mad at all the people who didn't tell you at your wedding shower that you would be wondering if your husband will still love you when he walks in the door and finds you this way. will he still think you're beautiful when you haven't washed your hair in 3 days because you've been sick and taking care of sick kids? will he still hug you when you smell like stomach acid and sour milk? will he still cherish you when you look like you just rolled out of bed? when he finds you in your pjs instead of a nightgown, and he has to fend for himself with cold cereal instead of coming home to the steam rising from his plate on the table, will he still say, "you're the one!"
what they don't tell you is...... you better pick a good mate, whose beauty is more than their clothes or how they smell or how their hair looks. and if you've already picked one, pray for them. because they didn't expect it to be like this either.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
the beginning
for some reason it seemed appropriate to me to post some of my old poetry. i haven't looked at most of it in years so this ought to be interesting. i began writing as a teenager and one of the first poems i wrote was called, "the artist." it's about God being the Creator. its funny because i think a lot of my writing parallels my growth as a Christ-follower. this one was written while i was a spiritual infant. funny, cuz i think one of the first things we must accept in knowing God is knowing Him as Creator. that's why the Bible starts "in the beginning," with creation. "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse." (Romans 1:20) accurate science is proof of a Creator God. and evidenced by that creation, the Creator is infinitely wiser than science is ever capable of proving Him to be.
c.s. lewis has a brilliant symbolic account of creation in chapter 9 of his book, "the magician's nephew," which is part of his chronicles of narnia series. it brought me to tears. for beauty and excellence, please reference that, or Psalm 8 or Genesis 1. for fun you can read this one.
December 5, 1995
c.s. lewis has a brilliant symbolic account of creation in chapter 9 of his book, "the magician's nephew," which is part of his chronicles of narnia series. it brought me to tears. for beauty and excellence, please reference that, or Psalm 8 or Genesis 1. for fun you can read this one.
The Artist
The brush his hand, the pallet his heart
The artist forever draws
His strokes perfecting every part
In his painting no hidden flaws
He paints the sun's set and its rise
The leaves in autumn's fall
The grass below; above the skies
The clouds, he paints them all
The sandy pebbles on glistening shore
Dashes of sunshine on the waves
The white sand under blue water, the shallow floor
The dark rocks within the caves
The canyons splashed with his delicate patterns
The rivers raging and free
The moonlight lit by his candle lanterns
With the falling stars he paints harmony
The mountains are peaked with snowy white
His brush flows for the shadows with gray
Majestic trees, vast lakes will seize the sight
While in valleys shades of green softly lay
He paints the eagle with wings soaring high
Picks colors for the flowers below
Sketching animals of the fields, birds of the sky
In everything his workmanship shows
The rainbow of colors from which he chooses
The reds, the yellows, the blues
Through time not one speck of its beauty loses
But gains power and love in all hues
But the most precious of his many works
The one by which man was blessed
Is the one he painted the day he hurt
So that any soul could live in rest
But why oh Lord on that day
Was red the color you chose?
And why for the color of blood did you pay
When you could’ve painted a lush red rose?
He poured the red over the black
Covering guilt sin and shame
My heart his love nevermore to lack
For in white he colored my name
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
here goes nothin'
over the last few weeks, several friends and family have mentioned they thought i should write a blog, so here goes. i have no idea what will come of this or even if anyone will read it, but it seems good to me to write for God's glory, so i will.
i didn't really know what to call it, or how to best sum up the purpose of my words and my life in 2 square inches. then the term, "cabin fever" came to mind. i turned to webster's dictionary to see if "cabin fever" truly fits with where i am in life, and here's the definition i found:
"cabin fever: noun: extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged period of time."
haha. yep. any of you other stay at home moms can surely resonate with this on some levels. "restless" is definitely a term i would use to describe myself most of the time, and "irritable" is the term my kids would probably use if their vocabulary was that big. so then i looked up the term "restless." again, from webster's, its an adjective meaning: (1) lacking or denying rest, (2) continuously moving, and (3) manifesting unrest especially of mind." wow. you might as well put my picture on that page of the dictionary!
sometimes i lack rest because of life. sickness and the stress of everyday living can keep me from rest. but sometimes i willfully deny rest by keeping myself too busy. i often scribble my name on every sign up sheet that pops up just to feel productive. and then i wonder why i'm so stressed out. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) maybe i ought to quit enslaving myself to the drudgery of my own to do list and simply take on the yoke that Jesus designed me for. i ought to filter every potential task through him first, making sure it fits with His purpose for my life. maybe that way, i won't get stuck in the mud so much.
i am also usually and continuously moving. i don't do sitting well, and i don't do silence well. i feel like i've got to be getting something accomplished, so most of the time, even if i'm watching the tv, i am multitasking and working on something else. and i don't like being left alone with my thoughts much, so there is always some kind of background noise from either the tv or the radio. no wonder eight hours of sleep just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. but there is often a still, small voice in the back of my head somewhere, or in my spirit, whispering, "Be still and know that I am God...." (Psalm 46:10) although i believe we can talk to God amidst the business of our life, i don't think we can hear him unless we get still and silent.
i'm also real good at "manifesting unrest, especially of mind." i love the way that's worded, and unfortunately, it's so me! anxiety, worry, angst, stress, good grief, whatever you want to call it, i'm good at it. but God's Word says in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." so basically, i can worry, or i can pray, but i can't do both at the same time. i get to choose rest or unrest and the difference is keeping my thoughts to myself or taking them to Jesus.
i believe that i will always be somewhat restless on this side of heaven. i was not created for this world, and i am longing for my real home. but while i am here, i can live in rest by resting from my work and resting in His perfect work on the cross. (Hebrews 4)
i didn't really know what to call it, or how to best sum up the purpose of my words and my life in 2 square inches. then the term, "cabin fever" came to mind. i turned to webster's dictionary to see if "cabin fever" truly fits with where i am in life, and here's the definition i found:
"cabin fever: noun: extreme irritability and restlessness from living in isolation or a confined indoor area for a prolonged period of time."
haha. yep. any of you other stay at home moms can surely resonate with this on some levels. "restless" is definitely a term i would use to describe myself most of the time, and "irritable" is the term my kids would probably use if their vocabulary was that big. so then i looked up the term "restless." again, from webster's, its an adjective meaning: (1) lacking or denying rest, (2) continuously moving, and (3) manifesting unrest especially of mind." wow. you might as well put my picture on that page of the dictionary!
sometimes i lack rest because of life. sickness and the stress of everyday living can keep me from rest. but sometimes i willfully deny rest by keeping myself too busy. i often scribble my name on every sign up sheet that pops up just to feel productive. and then i wonder why i'm so stressed out. Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30) maybe i ought to quit enslaving myself to the drudgery of my own to do list and simply take on the yoke that Jesus designed me for. i ought to filter every potential task through him first, making sure it fits with His purpose for my life. maybe that way, i won't get stuck in the mud so much.
i am also usually and continuously moving. i don't do sitting well, and i don't do silence well. i feel like i've got to be getting something accomplished, so most of the time, even if i'm watching the tv, i am multitasking and working on something else. and i don't like being left alone with my thoughts much, so there is always some kind of background noise from either the tv or the radio. no wonder eight hours of sleep just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. but there is often a still, small voice in the back of my head somewhere, or in my spirit, whispering, "Be still and know that I am God...." (Psalm 46:10) although i believe we can talk to God amidst the business of our life, i don't think we can hear him unless we get still and silent.
i'm also real good at "manifesting unrest, especially of mind." i love the way that's worded, and unfortunately, it's so me! anxiety, worry, angst, stress, good grief, whatever you want to call it, i'm good at it. but God's Word says in Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." so basically, i can worry, or i can pray, but i can't do both at the same time. i get to choose rest or unrest and the difference is keeping my thoughts to myself or taking them to Jesus.
i believe that i will always be somewhat restless on this side of heaven. i was not created for this world, and i am longing for my real home. but while i am here, i can live in rest by resting from my work and resting in His perfect work on the cross. (Hebrews 4)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)