Today was a rough day. Worst day I've had in a long time. But when I took a step back from it, I realized it had nothing to do with my physical circumstances. Truly, we are healthy and the general weather pattern is good, so our daily struggles are light and momentary, and really no big deal in the big scheme of things.
No - it had to do with the spiritual battle. the devil was attacking me from several angles today, trying to make me feel like a piece of junk, a failure as a mom, teacher, wife, sister, and friend. He has a way of taking very small issues and blowing them way out of proportion in my brain.
Paranoia about what others think about me.
Loneliness.
Worry about my kids.
Over analyzing my mistakes.
All of it.
My tendency during these difficult days is to misdirect my energy and efforts towards the physical circumstances and either figure out a way to fix it, fight it, or flee from it. The reason today was so hard is that I could do none of those. There was no quick fix to the problem, there was no way to deny it, or fight it, and I could not escape from it.
So I was stuck. Meaning I had to call it what it was - a spiritual battle - and face it head on, taking up the armor of God, and wield my sword - HIS WORD.
No, I am not a piece of junk, I was bought at a price. (1 Cor 6:19-20)
No, I am not a failure, I have been fully equipped for this good work of motherhood, and for teaching these kids. (2 Timothy 3:17)
No, I am not alone, for My God is with me. (Joshua 1:9)
No, I am not out of place, I am a fully accepted and loved child of God. (John 1:12)
And no, satan, I will not let my feelings dictate my defeat today. Because HE is the TRUTH and I will not surrender my focus or my worship elsewhere.
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