getting too attached

Warning: strong emotion may exist in this post.

People tell me all the time that they couldn't foster because they don't think they could handle letting go.

I just want to share with you this morning that that is absolutely FALSE. So the following are my reasons why you could let go, and my plea to you to rethink whether or not God might be calling your family to this ministry:

1) if I can let go, so can you. Before rob and I started fostering, I said the same thing. "I don't want to foster because I couldn't handle saying goodbye." Well folks, be careful what you say you'll never do. The Lord has changed our hearts in so many ways in this process and that was one of them. He showed us our selfishness and we have now let go twice. And yes it hurts like heck, but we've done it by God's grace, and so can you. He says that His "grace is sufficient" and and that He will comfort us, and we can trust that.

2) When God promised his "peace that passes all understanding," he wasn't kidding. I don't like the way the system works all the time, but I can rest in God's Sovereignty, and in His hand being on these children who are His first. And the peace we have about their lives is truly a mystery, and a blessing.

3) in some ways, the letting go comes with relief. These children come from hard places, and they come with a lot of emotional and physical baggage, and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes that burden is really heavy. Caring for these kids is not easy. Yes, they're cute, and precious, and it's so rewarding, but it's also a lot of work. So when they leave, a part of you is glad to finally take a deep breath, or sit in a quiet house, or be able to sleep through the night or take a nap.

4) if you became a foster parent, you might indeed get "too attached." But guess what? That's exactly what these kiddos need. Because of abuse and neglect, many of them have never been able to develop healthy attachment skills or loving bonds with any adults in their life. Someone who might get "too attached" is exactly what they need to learn how to trust other humans, and ultimately, to trust God.

5) what's the alternative for these children? If people like you and me don't step up and care for these kids, the alternative is often times a cold, hard, CPS office floor. or a shelter. Or a crowded house with pseudo-parents who are just looking for a check. Or at best a children's home where they will see only a small part of what God intended family to be.

6) God let go. He let go of His Son for us. To reconcile us to himself. And Jesus let go of His Father, and "for the joy set before him, endured the cross." What an amazing way to experience the gospel and be ministers of reconciliation in our broken world.

So..... there are lots of reasons not to become a foster family. Like maybe you just don't like kids, or you have your hands full with young children of your own, or you don't have enough room in your house, or you're heavily investing your time in another great ministry.

But please, I beg you, don't let getting too attached be your reason. You'll be missing out. And so will they.